Stark reality

It's the end of week one- a relatively easy one for me as I spent a day in orientation, another day in lecture and the rest in outpatient clinics. My friends, however, don't have it so easy. While I've been working an average of 8 hour days and sleeping as much, they are working on the wards at Grady (the poor, about-to-go-out-of-business county hospital) with some of the sickest patients in the country. Their days average 12 to 14 hours- when they're not on call. Overnight call, which thankfully is only every 8th night is a 30 hour shift. Everyone is asking themselves why they're here.

Entering medical school, most students are glad they got there- it's a very competitive process after all. We're idealistic and excited to learn the material needed to treat patients. We put in countless hours at the library and learn (and devise) countless mnemonics to remember volumes of information about livers, sugars, and medications. Some leave because it's not what they expected, but most put their all into it. Sacrificing time, money, and career development as their peers find jobs with average hours and do normal twenty-something things like, say... go to the bar. Revolutionary ideas like these seem out of reach to many med students who are competing with themselves (or their insecurities) and their peers for grades that will win them the best residency. Many friday nights med students can be found studying- a pastime favored second only to listening to lectures online.

So I can only speak for myself. But the bright-eyed idealsim which I brought to medical school, the change-the-world attitude is withering as the realities of the workload of residency sink in. I sat at dinner tongiht listening to stories from the wards of having to stay extra late for a sick patient, rounds that last upwards of 3 hours, teams of residents that don't function well, etc. I've never seen so much job frustration at one table. It's good that we have each other to help get through this. It's not going to be fun. I hope it will be worth it. Only time will tell.